Don’t Go

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Filed under: Focus 

He did what?

Killed himself, he was suffering from depression…

O how often I contemplated this over and over again in my own life…
Yeah I’m putting it out there, why?

For the simple reason that I believe many have these thoughts and deny them. They refuse to let others know, and the result is a suffer in silence syndrome.

Why do we go on? I don’t know, I don’t know why some persevere and why others don’t. At the end of one episode, I spent a month overdosing over and over again in hopes of a release from life entirely never to return. I had no way out that I knew was possible.

That was in 1986, quite a while back. I was blessed with a confrontation that asked if I was willing to see an alternative. With nothing left to lose, I accepted the offer.

I would, love to tell you I’ve never looked back since. But I would be lying and well, one thing I’ve been in my writings is transparent. No, you don’t need to know my business, no You don’t have the right to be in my business.. I share it willingly, why?

I don’t know why really… Maybe my words will touch someone and they too can see its worth a shot at sticking it out one more day, and then let the days add up until the desire to leave this place has passed.

Maybe…

Sometimes there really seem to be no way out, we allow ourselves to close our worlds into the such confined places that nothing comes in and nothing goes out.

And even when we’re putting ourselves out there, encouraging others, hearing the thanks and gratitude from others for sharing their time and lifting them up being told we’re awesome day after day. Our walls are impervious to everything good that wants return our blessings, why?

For most, we’ve developed a habit, an emotional, physical and yes spiritual conditioning over time that doesn’t want to be given up. We feel less than perfect, less than normal less than human. And god forbid we know others know what we’re going through. That would only make us feel worse. So we don’t tell anyone… no one, not family not friends, no, not no one, no way.

I would love to offer anyone reading this who feels like they’re not only stuck, but cannot possibly see no way out from their current situation, but…

The truth is we have to commit ourselves to the possibility that there is another way first. We have to accept that this is a very real life threatening condition we’re facing and if we don’t allow the ability to consider the possibilities of alternatives, then we’re going to follow through and we’re going to check out.

Thats just a fact. We’ll be just another statistic. People, are suffering from torture, real physical bodily harm torture at the hands of lunatics and even famlily members. People are being sent to jail for money & living in real life threat of imprisonment for money…. Money we don’t have… It’s just fuckin money for godsake!??!?

And thats just a touch, not to mention those who are being seriously tortured emotionally by friends and family and peers and even strangers…

To all these, I say there is a way out. Sounds insane, but we’ve been living in insanity for so long that the possibility of something other than what we’ve been living seems more fantasy than reality, and I completely agree with you.

It does sound unreal, but ts very very very real… I’m a fuckin living example that its real. I live for another day. And sometimes, THATS ALL I live for, just one more day…

You deserve just one more day, we all deserve just one more day, please for godsake give yourself one more day and reach out and let someone hold your hand and lead you to something Anything other than checking out

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
http://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/GetHelp/Default.aspx

Thats just one way, there are thousands of others, if we’re just willing to give another minute to our thoughts, just long enough, just…. long… enough…
It’s possible, its more possible than we can currently imagine…

Stay alive, please, we need you, your friends need you, you’re family needs you… I need you!

Trey Pennington

In Memory of Trey Pennington 09-04-2011

Let me wipe my tears long enough to see the keyboard and tell you, you think you’re alone, but you’re not, you think you’re the only one who’s going through this shit, you’re not, we’re out here, we’ve been there, and we’re alive to tell you you’re not alone.

I implore you beautiful soul; one more day, just reach out and give it one more day.

I love you always…