Last breath

Filed under: Stories 

Gazing longingly into her eyes…

He strained to glimpse the dream of his happiness fade from view.

She held him close as his liquid filled breathing,
too loud to be ignored any longer, consumed her faith for
the life they promised each other.

He knew it was over, soaked in his own life giving
river, at least an inch deep as he lay.

One last attempt, to let his love know he would never leave her,
at least not as a victim of circumstance…

In an almost etheric chill, the words whispered from his lips
like a wave of love by a mothers breath, “I’m not sorry…”

He finally said, as his head rolled and rested in her shuttering
near convulsing arms…

Tears washed down her blood splattered face, as she held the only
one, who loved every inch of her, like no other in her life.

No one knows what became of her after that night.

But, the rumors tell the tale of peaceful years, for innocents along those once blood ravaged streets.

Tales of a shadow that stikes fear into every manner of being, seeking easy prey among the citizens.


Thus the questions–


  • What happened to the killers? Who were the killers?
  • Who is this guy, what was he, and why did he die and not her?
  • Why does he love her, and who the heck is she anyways?
  • How did they wind up in that gawd-awful death trap?
  • Why didn’t she just leave and forget that swirl of life?
  • And so on, and so on…

    Crafting good stories isn’t as hard as one may think.

    The copywriter I pay attention to the most is John Carlton.

    John, has tattooed the fact that stories sell and writers write.

    A good story will outsell any ordinary piece of copy hands down everytime.
    If you look at any of John’s work, you’ll find a story, and a darn good one at that.

    But the story isn’t the whole of it, it’s the grabbing your reader and bringing them into
    the story which allows you to bend their will…

    Don’t believe me?zombie-crossing

    Stories, written or verbal can and most often will, out live the ad itself.
    The story doesn’t have to be long, and it doesn’t have to be short

    But, the one thing, they all have in common is the evoking of emotion.

    Listen to this line, by persuasion artist, Blaire Warren, in –

    “27 Words to Make the World Do Your Bidding.”

    “People will do anything for those who encourage their dreams, justify their failures,
    allay their fears, confirm their suspicions and help them throw rocks at their enemies.”

    And how does one enable such reactions from their readers?


    Off i go!

    Till the next post,
    Be Focused…
    Dan, the Un-Guru

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